Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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