After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I love having hate sex.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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