there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
