i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
