naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
