Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
