when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
