i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
