This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
