feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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