his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
