just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
