Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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