I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
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