I cut my penus on the lid.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
