we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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