u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
