Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize