were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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