This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
