are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize