didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
