She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i need some magic done to my vagina
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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