i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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