haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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