I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
