Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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