1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
