who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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