Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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