Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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