school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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