she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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