remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
