I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
