i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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