3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
