I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
