After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
