we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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