capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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