I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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