The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
