i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
