so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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