'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
