i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
