i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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