Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
