when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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