you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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