Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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