so that wasnt chicken after all
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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