I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
