its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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