O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you traded sex for a burrito?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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