i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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